Posts by Crisis of Conscience

84

Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this question in harmony with deedub's swan song thread which i linked below.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/205902/1/time-to-say-good-bye.

to some degree, i think i understand where she's coming from.

just speaking from my own experiences since stepping into the world of anonymous apostacy, i went through a few different phases of personal outlooks.

Crisis of Conscience

A thread that certainly gets you thinking. Thanks MLE.

I find it sad how we as JW's have been taught that we don't attend the meetings or are part of the org for people, but rather for Jehovah. That can be a serious mind game if you truly believe it. "Let me endure because it's for Jehovah" is a thought built on nonsense. And yet how many times has it been repeated?

Misery, I read your posts and I wish I knew you personally. I find myself at times thinking that way, though not so often. If you still believed what apostates said was false, this would be an easy decision. But when you have seen the REAL proof, well therein lies the challenge.

I can honestly say that if I didn't have "pressure to perform", there is a good possibility I could stick around for the long haul. I'm very laid back and have always been well liked by people. That drew me to continue moving ahead, or up, or whatever. And I tolerated much because it didn't really bother me. I love people and to be around them and being a witness gives you that opportunity regularly. But that's just not a good enough reason to "adjust" my thinking. I've done it for too many years because of that 'making your mind over' scripture.

And then came the day when those gnawing thoughts couldn't be ignored. Do I want to live a lie? No I don't. As painful as it may seem to leave 7.5 million people behind, you have to remember that there are billions of others to meet.

My beef is not with my current congregation or my last. It's with this authority figure that's claims to be God's channel. And unfortunately, trying to continue being a JW and adjusting my thinking only continually exposes others, as well as myself, to their twisted thoughts.

So at this point and with what I know and feel, NO, there is no adjustment, ON MY PART. It's their turn.

CoC

51

"The FDS has lovingly given us time"

by Crisis of Conscience in

boy am i tired of hearing this one.

yes folks, i heard it at the meeting this week...again.

the sm included a local needs part and this was the subject - family worship night.. apparently, regarding fwn, that time was never, nor now is, ours.

Crisis of Conscience

@ alias - It's so sad yet your prediction, as crazy as it may sound, definitely seems plausible.
If there is no Biblical backing to reporting field service time, then there certainly won't be any needed for reporting FWN hours!

CoC

43

Hypocrisy 101 - Watchtower has Payed for College/College Courses for Bethelites!

by Crisis of Conscience in

no you did not read the title wrong.

i was out to eat this weekend with two bethelites.

one gave a talk in my hall and i was invited out to dinner with them by another family in my hall.. as the conversation always turns to "spiritual" things, the subject of education was brought up.

Crisis of Conscience

@ LV101 - Addressing your first comment, that's the way the Bethelite I spoke to said it. The brothers whose education was paid for were committed to staying at Bethel, otherwise known as faithful brothers, and so the society took that step.
Still hypocritical!! Gotta love it!

CoC

43

Hypocrisy 101 - Watchtower has Payed for College/College Courses for Bethelites!

by Crisis of Conscience in

no you did not read the title wrong.

i was out to eat this weekend with two bethelites.

one gave a talk in my hall and i was invited out to dinner with them by another family in my hall.. as the conversation always turns to "spiritual" things, the subject of education was brought up.

Crisis of Conscience

@ LongHairGal - You are absolutely right. I shouldn't be surprised. I guess I still have it in my mind that when a group puts themselves on such a high pedestal, and for so long, anything shocking should provide a positive feeling. But what I continue learning, that is truthful, has all been negative.

And yet they continue to say that apostates only say twisted things. But the org are the ones hiding the truth or trying to keep things on the hush. That's what in reality is twisted!

CoC

31

If Your Husband (wife) is Still In - -

by Had To Go in

jw
friends

do you vacillate between caring that he/she is still entrapped in this cult and wanting to show them everything you have learned since your awakening and not wanting to rock the boat and therefore just keeping all this knowledge to yourself?

i wonder if it is normal to go back and forth like i do.

one day i want to tell my husband something i may have read here or on another forum and maybe, just maybe i will pique his interest.

Crisis of Conscience

I can describe my experience in some ways to stuckinamovement .

While my wife claims she has not outright called me an apostate, she says listening to me is like listening to an apostate speak. You do the math. Despite referring to things DIRECTLY from the Watchtower, I sound like an apostate.

Frustrating to say the least. It's strange though because she has become more open-minded than in the past. We have had some excellent conversations at times AFTER she seemed to have processed what I said. She gives it thought and admits she agrees with what I have said.

I figured out that at times, without meaning to, I come on to strong with my feelings about the org. And that's probably why I have seen her pick up her studying habits more. After ruining two evenings on two different occasions becasue of my expressions, I have decided to no longer discuss these things with her for a little while. We do Bible reading together, and as far as that goes, I told her I will no longer discuss what we read. I will just read so as to not start any "spiritual" conflicts. She's fine with that.

I feel I have a great marriage. In the long run, while I want to help her, I am more concerned with being honest with myself. And that is going to involve some hard decisions, like no more meetings. The battle in your head gets worse, IMO, when you hear the things at the hall and yet know the truth.

Hang in there Had To Go . There is always hope.

CoC

43

Hypocrisy 101 - Watchtower has Payed for College/College Courses for Bethelites!

by Crisis of Conscience in

no you did not read the title wrong.

i was out to eat this weekend with two bethelites.

one gave a talk in my hall and i was invited out to dinner with them by another family in my hall.. as the conversation always turns to "spiritual" things, the subject of education was brought up.

Crisis of Conscience

This is excellent! I really appreciate everyones knowledge on this subject.
And especially Barbara, it is an honor to have you share in this thread. A proven reputable source.
Also thanks to jwfacts for the FACTS that you provide. Keep them coming! I am amazed I never new this when I was at Bethel, and if I did, it went right over my head.

CoC

43

Hypocrisy 101 - Watchtower has Payed for College/College Courses for Bethelites!

by Crisis of Conscience in

no you did not read the title wrong.

i was out to eat this weekend with two bethelites.

one gave a talk in my hall and i was invited out to dinner with them by another family in my hall.. as the conversation always turns to "spiritual" things, the subject of education was brought up.

Crisis of Conscience

Thanks for your input Billy the X. Phil Brumley sounds like a familiar name.
I'm in shock still. I'm probably going to keep stating how hypocritical the GB's stance is on this.
It's just like it's alright to miss a meeting for OT work at Bethel but unacceptable outside of that arrangement.

CoC

51

"The FDS has lovingly given us time"

by Crisis of Conscience in

boy am i tired of hearing this one.

yes folks, i heard it at the meeting this week...again.

the sm included a local needs part and this was the subject - family worship night.. apparently, regarding fwn, that time was never, nor now is, ours.

Crisis of Conscience

These parts about FWN (Family Worship Night) keep on increasing. Last week, actually the last two weeks, the KM dealt with this subject. And let's not forget how often it is being mentioned in the Watchtower magazines.
It's not a rule.....yet. At least in a written form. But definitely verbal. It's EXPECTED of you.
They are making sure to nail it into people's heads so that if something goes sour in the family, the elders can point to your lack of support for the GB's loving arrangement.
The GB says, "Did we mention it's ALWAYS YOUR fault?"

CoC

82

3/15 WT " Do Not Deceive Yourself "- WT's Excuses for No Armageddon

by flipper in

jw
friends

with the new " overlap generation " theory that the wt society is pushing onto rank and file jehovah's witnesses since last year this article i found really heavy hitting in the jw version of the wt.

the wt society is leaking oil in that confidence is low among jw's in not really buying into the " generation overlap " theory as many younger jw's are exiting the organization.

so what better way to try reeling members back in by giving them an article entitled " do not deceive yourself with false reasoning " !

Crisis of Conscience

I think OTWO had a great example in explaining this poopoo platter of a story from the GB.
If given a chance, it would be good to ask a GB member, using that illustration, how long they would be willing to wait for a dinner guest.

I imagine.........utter silence. But hey, they are spirit-directed, ....right?

CoC

43

Hypocrisy 101 - Watchtower has Payed for College/College Courses for Bethelites!

by Crisis of Conscience in

no you did not read the title wrong.

i was out to eat this weekend with two bethelites.

one gave a talk in my hall and i was invited out to dinner with them by another family in my hall.. as the conversation always turns to "spiritual" things, the subject of education was brought up.

Crisis of Conscience

Correction noted. I meant PAID and not PAYED. Thanks shepherd. I spell checked myself and missed the most important part - the title! I can't even blame the computer. I sense a weakness. LOL

CoC